Several years ago I was asked to keep a secret, from a loved one, about something. It bothered me, but “technically”, it wasn’t my place to say anything about the topic. Years went by and every time I thought about it, the weight of it grew heavier and heavier.

Finally, I couldn’t take it any more. I sought advice from my wife. I sought advice from entrusted friends and I did a lot of praying about it. Then, unable to take it any longer, I decided it was way past time to do something about it. It was simply killing me inside. To know that someone I dearly love, that was clueless about the situation (that I felt they had every right to know about it), was tearing me up. So, even though it wasn’t my place to divulge the information, I had decided to do so. Or at least notify the person holding the secret, that if they didn’t share it, I was going to let my loved one know the truth.

Before I notified the secret holder though, I spoke to my loved one about what was going to happen. I stammered around for a few minutes trying to find the words to explain to them what was going to happen and why I felt it was important. My obvious blabbering, confused explanation wasn’t helping, what so ever. They asked, “what is it?” “I can’t say”, I replied. “But I have been really bothered about the fact that you have been left in the dark about something and I don’t feel good about it. I’m going to notify the other person and give them a few days to speak up. If they refuse, I will tell you.”

Now, I had successfully made both my loved one and I even more uncomfortable. After several minutes of me seeming to speak in some ridiculous secret code and making the situation so uncomfortable, my loved one said… “Are you talking about…?” And shared that they had already been told about it a couple months before.

I stood there dumbfounded, frustrated and looking pretty stupid. Not only had I single handedly made a couple sane individuals really uncomfortable. I had been holding onto something that was killing me inside, and I hadn’t needed to. Relieved, worn out and upset, I asked, “Why didn’t you tell me that you knew?” To which they responded, “I didn’t think it was any big deal.”

Here I was, holding a weight that I had no right to have to bear, to begin with. And holding far longer than I needed to. Not to mention, holding it even after the one person I wanted to know, already knew.

Sometimes we do this with other issues in our lives. We often hold onto hurt feelings, long after we should have let them go. We often harbor bitterness to the point of it causing damage to ourselves. We stew over something long after it’s been settled and/or solved.

Be careful not to hold onto weight that is unnecessary. And whatever you do, when you finally step up to deal with an issue. Don’t make yourself and anyone else so uncomfortable that you both want to vomit, because of your horrible attempt to let go of the weight.
Just let it go!
@KPWestmoreland